Schemers is the latest genre-crossing anthology of new short fiction from Stone Skin Press. From the classic myths to the pages of the Bible, from Shakespeare’s stage to the yellowed pulps of yesteryear, literature runs red with tales of plotting and betrayal. We’re giving away three copies of Schemers on Tuesday, April 1st, and here are the conditions:
We’re all schemers at heart, and few things incite our inner schemer more than public permission to plot and ploy. With April Fool’s Day just around the corner, now is the perfect time to get our stories straight … so pony up, what’s the best prank you ever pulled? Or one that you’ve got in the works for next Tuesday? You don’t have to be a professional to deliver a memorable prank.
Leave a comment below outlining how you got one over on a friend or foe, and on April 1st we’ll select the three best entries. Winners receive one free copy of Schemers, either a hard copy or an ebook, and, of course, eternal bragging rights!
I tied a rubber band around the spray nozzle on the sink in the middle of the night, carefully aiming it toward whomever turned on the water in the morning (assuming it would be my mother). When it was my father, and his work shirt was drenched by the sudden and unexpected spray… well, let’s say the joke was on me!
I admit to not being much of a prankster. When I do, I tend to let the other person really get the best of themselves. My proudest/most successful prank was way back when – in the olden days of being 10.
My younger sister (8 at the time) was the sort who only wanted something if someone else had it – toys, books, food, everything. We had a large stand of turkey oaks (also called ‘scrub oak’) next to our house. One day I realized that acorns, beneath the brown protective skin, were the same color as the cheap cheese slices we loved so much. I also knew they were high in tannins and I knew they could make a person sick. They were also really bitter.
I set about peeling them and then carving them into lil flat portion squares and stacking them up. Then I got a slice of cheese and sat where I knew my sister would see me. I had folded the cheese into lil flat squares so it would look like the acorn bits. My sister, as expected, came over demanding that I share my cheese with her. I argued a little (had to really sell it) and then finally just “gave up” and gave her what was left; a couple of bits of actual cheese and half a dozen or so bits of acorn.
She popped them all in her mouth and ate them. She complained about the taste, but… didn’t spit them out! Whether the bout of diarrhea she got that night was a result of the acorns or not, I can’t know for sure… but I really enjoyed the thought that it was.
I onced phoned my mum and told her work was sending me on seccondment to Barcelona for two years and I was phoning from the airport. Bye Mum!
Well, that was easy–all three of you win! Please send an email to stoneskinpress @ gmail.com that includes either your shipping address (if you want a paperback) or preferred email address (if you want an ebook). Thanks for sharing!